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Well, I didn't post yesterday, obviously.

I'd been having trouble sleeping, and I was so exhausted when I got home, I wasn't going to risk instant sleepytime for a fluff post about not much. *shrug*

We have big mirrors at the gym, so I have been seeing myself a lot more than usual. It's actually been helpful. As per normal, what's in my head and reality are two different things, with reality being much nicer. Not that it's full of rainbows and marshmallow kittens either, but you get the idea. On the exact opposite side of the coin (and the gym), I am getting assaulted by infomercials that are telling me my butt and boobs are too saggy, my belly too flabby, my pores too porous, my body hair too coarse, and so on, and so on. Ugh. Thankfully I don't take those infomercials too seriously.

So, I tried tanning this morning. It was weird, but relaxing. It's been a bit over an hour, and I'm still feeling all warm and radiate-y. Maybe I should bust out the Geiger counter... I'm not going to make a habit of it, I just want to try it out once a week for a little while to see if it'll help for the KP on my arms and legs. I WANT TO BE COMFORTABLE WEARING SHORTS AND TANK TOPS IN THE SUMMER, DAMNIT. *angry face* Nothing has been working to get rid of it so far. It's certainly better than it used to be, but it's still visible, and when I show it to people, they recoil. :( Pic (not my arm, but close to what mine looks like)

I was pretty productive today. Got a bunch of stuff done. Realized that my memory key with my game system stuff in it may have been in my purse. Thankfully I had an up to date backup, and with any luck, I may have a finished enough version to run a pick-up at Arcon. I'm so close to having it playtestable. I have just one unfun bit to do. I CAN DO EET.

Bought a new wallet online today. It's a Jimi. Hard plastic and thin. I wanted to buy one for a while, but had just bought a new wallet from a local vendor and couldn't justify it. Hopefully it'll either be comfortable enough to keep in a back pocket, or thin enough to not look dumb in a front pocket.

Filed my taxes, and getting a hell of a return. I was planing on spending it on 2 small, single color tattoos, but since I'm getting more, I think I'm going to go ahead and get them in color. It's going to be suuuuuuper nerdy, and I'm ruining a cool traditional tattoo with video game characters. I still need to design the second one (or find a better artist than myself to do it)...

Okay, I can't write anymore. The sleeps is claiming me. G'night all. :D

( Here thar be tweets )

( Here thar be tweets )

Okay, I'm going to make a serious effort to post more here.

I keep saying that, but this time it'll be different! I'm trying to take a little time when I get home to wind down because I've been having some trouble sleeping lately, so I figure that's a good time to make a post.

I'm currently working the overnight at a gym as a cleaner. It's not glamorous, but it pays dem bills. It's hard work (which is fine by me), and there has been some unnecessary stress lately, but hopefully that's all cleared up now.

My purse got taken on Xmas eve. I must have left it at the bakery after breakfast, and an opportunist must have grabbed it. Things gone forever include: Credit & debit cards, ID, SS card, approx $50, irreplaceable memory-type things (Bob's Army photo, Dad's AA card, pressed cherry blossom I picked in Japan, notebook full of game ideas and other projects), phone, music/video player, and of course the purse itself. I'm still working on replacing the replacables. It seems most places don't really have their hours set up in a good way for 3rd shift peoples. Not that I expect them to, but it would make my life easier.

Speaking of phones, I got a new one. Same old number, but they couldn't magically update my contact list so email/msg/whatever me your digits if you want me to answer the phone if you call. I got one of them fancy-pantsy new Droids, and it's pretty much the bee's-knees. The level of connectivity I have now is downright terrifying. It's amazing how fast things have changed. In my lifetime I've gone from no cell and no interbutts, to having the interbutts on my cell. I also didn't know how dependent (or at least used to) having a cell phone I was until I went without one for 2 weeks. Shocking!

Scale says I'm down 5lbs, not sure I believe it. People have been saying I look like I've lost weight so maybe there is something to it. I haven't really been eating better, but going from full on sedentary to scrubbing a gym and working out 2-3 days a week should be doing something. I just wish I was loosing it faaaaaaaaster....

I'm trying to learn how to juggle. It's one of those things I want to be able to do. People have looked at me funny when I've said I want to learn how. Is it weird to want to learn new things? Is the pursuit of knowledge not cool? So sad. Imma do it anyway.

Went through a bit of a rough patch emotionally during the past month and a bit. Think I'm finally through it though. I was easily upset, totally unmotivated, stressed, and all that. I'm pretty sure it was just the purse thing combined with new job, job stress, new sched, and this past week was the worst, and I'm blaming hormones for that.

The main thing I'm wrestling with now is my hobbies. I haven't been working on much of anything because I've had so little "me time," so I've just been wanting to spend it faffing about (internet and games mostly). I need to find a way to remind myself that my hobbies are FUN. That's why I have them! They are things I like to do, and they make me feel happy, relaxed, and accomplished! Theoretically, at least. ;)

The other is my self-esteem. I feel embarrassed of myself pretty constantly, and I think that feeling the the main thing keeping me from being who I want to be. It's that whole "I need to stop giving a shit" thing. Need to work on stepping out of my comfort zones a little. Not quite sure what that entails. All I know is that my coworker is fine with busting a move randomly at work, and I AM TOTALLY NOT. OMGNONONO. The thoughts that keep me from doing so are thus: 1) No one wants to see me wiggle my fat butt in a gross approximation of "dancing" and 2)OHGAWD THEY ARE ALL GOING TO MAKE FUN OF ME. I'm pretty sure that neither are true, at least not in the extreme scope I put them in. I feel fat, ugly, and awkward pretty much all the time I'm around others. I don't want to, but I don't know how to stop. Le sigh.

Going to try and buy as few games as possible this year to try and slough through the dumb backlog of games I have that I have barely played. Thinking about finally doing those review videos I wanted to do, and curious how popular reviews would be for old PS2 games.

Still working on Dragon Age. I get easily distracted by side quests, and reading stuff both in game and on the wiki. Just finished the Broodmother fight. UGH. That was a pain. Also, gross.

Found another costume I'm thinking about doing once I'm in better shape. Looks like they made cute chibi gijinka versions of the Angels from Evangelion. The Zeruel one has caught my eye...

Wow, it's taken me like an hour to write all this. Bedtime for me. Hopefully more posting tomorrow. I'll try and post a picture of one of the most amazing pizzas I've ever put in my face~.

Current Mood: cold

( Here thar be tweets )

( Here thar be tweets )

( Here thar be tweets )

( Here thar be tweets )

( Here thar be tweets )

( Here thar be tweets )

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• Make at least one craft item a month, and post details and pics here


• Make at least one song a month, and post it here


• Try harder to be the person I want to be


• Enjoy life more betterer


• Lose 40lbs (possibly in conflict with the one above, eh?)


• Take more pictures, be in more pictures, and post more pictures

Let's see if I can stick to any of these...

I will post about my disastrous holiday later. 2009 wanted to make sure it went out with a bang. :(

Tags: nyr
Current Mood: caffeinated

( Here thar be tweets )

( Here thar be tweets )

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